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Tuesday, December 19th, 2006
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So my brother should be coming into town tonight. He is visiting from Texas. I am patiently awaiting his arrival.
Things have been really weird for me as of late. Many support systems have fallen apart in the past six months and it has been hard to find solid ground to stand on. Luckily for me, my parents let me move back with them. Although it sounds lame, it's not that bad.
I still think about Jen, although we've been broken up for half of a year. I am supposed to talk with her tomorrow. I miss her and I don't know if breaking up with her was the best thing to do. I have always had a problem with communication, and I really don't feel like I can talk to her about some things. Important things. I was with her for two years. It's really hard to be without her. I got by these past few months with the help of some very close friends who now have moved away. It really feels like I lost everything. After I broke up with Jen, I quit my job, lost my apartment, and my band broke up. The band was the only thing I had longer than Jen. But I've been rebuilding my life. I have a new job earning more money and I plan on returning to APSU in August. I'm working on getting a band back together, too. Now I just have to deal with the fact that I am 22 and living with my parents, which isn't so bad I suppose. It helps me save money. I've learned some lessons about integrity, momentum, friendship, love, and humility so I guess everything was for the better. I'm sick of destroying myself just to feel alive. It's time I learned how to truly live and grow. To stand up to challenges and face my fear of failure and inadequacy. I owe my life to God and I am realizing again that without Him I am helpless. He makes me feel connected like no one else can. Now I just have to work on keeping my ego in check. I never thought I had an oversized ego until just recently. I'm not sure what happened. Perhaps it was retaliation against my studies in Buddhism. I am now returning to them as well as prayer. It has helped me break free from circular thinking. I hope I can maintain this positive attitude.
JOe
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Friday, December 1st, 2006
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Wow. I can't my livejournal still exists. The layout has changed. I like it.
JOe
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Hey I just signed up for a MySpace Account. Burningeyeofconcsiousness.
JOe
Oh and Circling the Center has one too. You can hear one of our songs.
JOe
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"Much is behind me now.
I secretely pine over some.
My future awaits its creation.
I am not what I've become, but what I am." - Unknown
I've seen a few good movies lately. You can rent this one at Blockbuster: "What the Bleep Do We Know?" Some quantum-physicists really pull it together in that one.
So to get real, I've been doing much of the same. I rock out with the band. I rock out with Jen. I make coffee for people. I miss alot of my old friends. I say old because I haven't seen or spoken to many of them in so long. Specifically Jessica (although I do see her more than others), Laura E., Laura Z., Che, Heidi, Brodie, Kevin, Liz, Deidre, Paige (although she visits me at Lasaters quite often. THanks for that Paige!), Janelle and Brittany, and Matt. Memories of Gatlinburg flood back. So many phone numbers gone. I feel ashamed. But Hey, I've made my life the way I want it right now. I'm focused. Everyday my relationship with Jen gets stronger and the band gets tighter. THe band is my bread and butter and Jen is the one with whom I share everything. I'm grateful.
STAND UP FOR YOUR BELIEFS. STAND STRONG FOR WHAT YOU WANT. PUSH AND SHOVE UNTIL YOU GET IT. DON'T TAKE SHIT JUST BECAUSE YOU THINK YOU COULD BE WRONG. PUSH AND SHOVE AND FIND OUT FOR SURE.EVERYONE COULD BE WRONG. JOe
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Comments: Read 6 or Add Your Own.
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Monday, December 27th, 2004
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Oh hello.
Hey guess what, I finally found a job. Now I work at Lasater's Coffee and Tea on Riverside Drive. It's a drive-through. I make coffee.
OH THe band has a show in Murfreesboro this Friday on New Year's Eve. It is on the square... a place called Wallstreet. It supposed to be a really big show. LIke over 400 people.
We'll see. I really can't wait. Should be a really good time.
I wish I could call some peeps from the Boro, but all the numbers are in my old phone which is currently lost. I really don't have a lot of numbers right now. It makes me sad.
JOe
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Saturday, December 18th, 2004
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Fucking CIRCLING THE CENTER live with UNDISCLOSED at the Olde Town Tavern on Franklin Street TONIGHT!!!
Last Friday was a rocking show and TONIGHT is going to be even better!
So I am still alive. Whoopty freaking doo!
I LIVE TO DIE!
SOmeday....someday....
NO i'm just joking. I don't live to die. I live to find out more about this pressure that pushes from the outside. "I've got a bomb in my temple and it's about to explode."
YES I live to fight! ANd WIN!
Ok. to bring it down a notch. I am freaking broke and the holidays are here. I can't buy anyone anything. I guess it makes me feel so bad because I know that there are a lot of people in my life that deserve a gift this Christmas. I am the last one that deserves anything right now, and people keep trying to give. I should wear a sign that says:
. "IF anyone even THINKS about getting me anything, just forget it and buy yourself something and then show it to me and say "Look what I bought for myself with the money I would have wasted on you!"
Oh, does anyone know anywhere that is hiring? I'll even shovel shit...really. And I do odd jobs...does anyone need their car washed...or their karma cleansed....I can do that...it involves eating a handfull of tacks though.
JOe
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, November 24th, 2004
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Hey sorry i haven't posted again until now. I'm healing nicely and I really appreciate all your get well wishes.
Happy Thanksgiving and stuff.
Laura, Is your cell number still the same?
Heidi, I know it's late, but 818 Glendale Drive, Clarksville, TN. 37043 is my addy. I hope that doesn't fall into the wrong hands. don't feel obligated to send a package now that I actually gave my address.
Jess, Thanks alot for visiting me in the hospital. I DID enjoy your package.
And Amanda, thanks for thinking of me. I did have my cell phone, but the battery died the first night.
Well, I am actually sitting in a class that has been canceled but I didn't know because I didn't come Monday. What a waste of time. I could have slept in. Geez...
The band is playing at the Muse Thursday....turkey day. DAMN I still can't believe I showed up to this class. This happened yesterday too. Both times I had to get up from my nap with Jen just to come to an empty room. Bullshit. Oh well. I should pay more attention in class.
Gonna check the other journals.
Later.
JOe
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Wednesday, November 17th, 2004
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Just to let you know, I was completely sober during that last post. AnD I am laying off the weed, permanently, due to health concerns.
For those of you who don't know, I was hospitalized for five days for a condition called spontaneous pneumothorax. It's like a collapsed lung but not all the way collapsed. I guess I am ok now, but I can't smoke, or lift anything over 50 pounds. The band had to cancel some shows, but we have one at the Warehouse this Thursday. I gotta go. Taking a test.
JOe
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Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.
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Monday, November 8th, 2004
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Hmm...a hoax. It might just be a hoax. A lie, a cover-up, a front. My existence. Incomplete sentences work better for me. My thoughts are incomplete sentences. Examples...no. Make sense where you can. At least the water here is shallow. You should take a rest in my pool. The water here is fairly malleable. What do you want to focus on? Where do you want to go? Think. Create. Swim to different regions. Why don't you just drown? Have you thought about how much energy it takes to tread? Just stop. Float, sink, it's all the same, just stop. Feel. Just stop and feel for a moment. Don't expect, and let go while you're at it. Just forget about it. Forget about what you are trying to do. Wander. Starve and then eat a little. What could you be doing? If you were in your kitchen, what would you be thinking? In Africa, trees grow. In Europe, trees grow. In America, trees grow. But what about the clouds? What about the rubber on your shoe? What about the fly in the window, or the stream of conciousness of the nearest mind? And RIGHT NOW! WHat about all the other things coming into existence right NOW?! Are you just going to let them COME AND THEN GO with out you knowing? HOW DUMB ARE YOU? DOES IGNORANCE RING A BELL?! What about your little toe on your left foot? When is the last time you thought about that? Where is your focus? What web of reality are you crawling around in? Are you hungry? Are you tired? What have they got you focused on? What do you live your life to do? What are you doing now? Reading? STOP! Who is left? You are. I am. I am you. I am me. I am thinking about thinking about thinking about thinking about...circles now. Life gets me dizzy. I am in front of a computer screen. My hand might be on the mouse. JOe is in my brain now. He is starting to freak me out. AHHH!
What is the point of this? Is he trying to make a point? His point is out of focus. Ahhh....focus.... concentration... choice... where do they lay? Right now is the only time we have. The past is right now. THe future is right now. And right now I am wasting time. Here or there. or over there. THinking uses energy. Use yours wisely. Sure it tastes good, but how long will it last? Make it last forever. You were meant to take a rest. I ran you up a mountain. I apologize. Go back to resting now... apples, oranges, bananas, grapefruit, tangerines, tangelos, apricots, figs, grapes, canteloupe, watermelon, honeydew, and pears. Fruit. Citrus. Blue. Light blue is not as dark as the ocean.
JOe
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Friday, November 5th, 2004
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Ok people. THis Saturday night, at Clarksville's Olde Town Tavern on Franklin Street, Drew and Circling the Center will be rocking out all night. Drew goes on at 10:00 and Circling the Center hits the stage at MIDNIGHT...until 2 in the morn. NO DOOR CHARGE! MUST BE AT LEAST 19 to enter!
Other than that, things are going up and down. School is lame (think i might drop out) but i don't have a job(i really don't know how I am surviving without one now) and I still can't get enough of my girlfriend, Jenn. THe band is going strong, check the site for show dates. Circlingthecenter.com
I sometimes think about all the people in Murfreesboro, but I can't imagine living there anymore. I only hang out with a very select few here in Clarksville. THe band and Jenn keep me pretty tied up...but I don't mind. The handfull of people I am with are high quality.
My plans... Practice alot with the band, play alot of shows with the band, love my girl, spend lots of time with my girl, find a part time job that can offer me full time when I leave school, move in with Kyle and Ricky, practice more, write better songs, play more shows, work, practice, play, love, eat, play, practice, work, sleep, love, practice, play, practice, eat, play, sleep, love, eat, practice, work, sleep, work, practice, and play. And then love some more. Fuck a five year plan! I just planned out my whole life!
JOe
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, October 6th, 2004
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Hello Livejournal land.
I have not updated with real info in more than a month. I think Livejournal land should know that I have not forgotten about it, or the people here.
So I've been dating a girl now for about a month. Her name is Jenn. She spells it with one 'n' and I spell it with two. I tried to get her to come to Murfreesboro Saturday night, but she had to work. She is a waitress at the Warehouse on Friday and Saturday nights, but usually hangs out down there on Thursday nights, when the "hardcore" bands play. Jen was there during Circling the Center's first Warehouse performance, which was on Aug. 26th. We talked after the show and hadn't stopped. Amanda and Jessica have met her. I don't think Amanda likes her.
But the band is doing well. We've been playing alot of shows and have more booked. We are going to play in Murfreesboro soon with Rooftop Society. They rock.I am not sure of the dates of any future shows, but we are playing this Thursday at the Warehouse, and somewhere in Nashville later this month, and somewhere else. I'll have to update the website. I just took it over so it is going to change. WWW.circlingthecenter.COM
I am not enjoying school because it takes time away from my life and doesn't seem to give anything back. I don't know what I want a degree in. I need a job, but I don't have a lot of time. I feel like I want to quit school and just work full-time and play music, but what is that going to do for my future?
Well I think I hit all the topics: Girlfriend, Band, School is lame
Oh and I heard something the other day... I don't know if it's true.
Natalie Welch committed suicide. I wish I didn't have to hear about things like that. I don't know how I feel about spreading information like that.
WAR IS SELL
JOe
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Comments: Read 12 or Add Your Own.
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Sunday, August 29th, 2004
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Alright, it's about 2 in the morn, on a Sunday.
THe show at the Warehouse went great. So good, that the owner invited us back this upcoming Thursday to headline the show. I don't know who is playing with us yet, but we are going to get two or three other bands. Should be a blast.
Then we played friday night at "Club Ten"...or should I say "Club Rip-Off"
We only played a handfull of cover songs though. I thought we played well. But the owners are like used car salesmen.
Anyway, Monday kicks off the school year. And it is the day Jess and I are going to Nashville....Cafe Coco!! to see Amanda B! It's been a while ....(Yeah shut up Staind) That should be a good time. Hey Jess! Do you want to help me hand out some flyers in Nashville and at school?!
JOe
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Thursday, August 26th, 2004
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Hey there Mr. Police man. Can you spare a dime? YOur friend the sheriff just took the last half ounce of mine.
So the wedding last weekend went well. I had a blast, got drunk off of some wine. Had a good time.
My last day of work was yesterday. Now i gotta find a part time job. I think Eckerd.
Tonight, "Circling the Center" is playing at the Warehouse. Everyone is invited. Everyone should come. Tomorrow night we are playing at some teen club, Club Ten or the TenClub or something. The dude made flyers and left off our name. That douchebag.
Anyway, school starts Monday. I'm sure everyone has gone back to their respective cities/states already. If anyone is left in VEGAS reply and let me know please.
JOe
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Thursday, August 19th, 2004
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So I guess I'll be out of town for 3 days. My older brother is getting married on Saturday. We leave tomorrow to go to Smithville, where the wedding is. Should be fun. It's on a lake. I get to wear a pimp tux.
So the show went great this past Friday. I'm kinda confused as to what happened with Heidi and Liz, but i guess I deserve it because I'm a fucking loser who had about 2 months to see Heidi's play and the last day it is playing I will be out of town. I'm sorry. Really I feel bad.
Jess and Keegan were there to the end. It was just like old times almost. THANKS AGAIN JESS! What a way to show support....sitting through a four hour set.
WEll, I gotta hit the sack. Got lots of family coming into town.
JOe
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, August 11th, 2004
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Alright CHECK IT!
THIs Friday, Circling the Center has an all-night jam gig at Ye Olde Tavern on Franklin street. THe tavern is between the Black HOrse and the Front Page, on the Blackhorse side.
Starting at 10:00, live music and dollar pints of beer. Pool 50 cent, Darts 50 cent. I leave off the 's' in 'cent' for my hommies. Never mind that, just come out this Friday check out some jams. (19 and up)
ANYWAY,
I went by the Front PageDeli and saw Cody Baker play. He invited me up to do some songs and I proceeded to suck. Jess was there. Her and Ricky and I went to Johnny's and got some burgers. TASTEE!
Hey HEIDI! I'm sorry that I haven't come see your play. But I have some plans to see it next week. I'm going to call you tomorrow if I remember.
JOe
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Comments: Read 7 or Add Your Own.
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Yeah, Jess mentioned my birthday. I don't really have any plans, but the band is supposed to practice and later Ricky and I are going to get drunk at Matt's. Give mae a caell if you or your mama's grandpa want to throw down like some truePIMPS!... I'll ask Matt...
Jess, don't worry about getting me anything. It's cool.
JOe
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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Sorry about misinformation. The band isn't going to play at the fair. I know everyone was going to go and this is just sad sad news. If anyone needs a shoulder to cry on...
JOe
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Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.
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Hello my friendly journal.
All my friends came out on Saturday. Well, Laura and Che and some others didn't, BUT it was a good time the whole way round. I am really thankful towards FSN for giving us the slot.
The band has decided to play at the fair on Tuesday. I think there are 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place trophies. It will be another good show experience. See if we can't fix a few of the errs we encountered last go about.
JOe
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Work workwork... The only thing on my mind is the 17th show and work.
I don't think alot of people are going to be there at 2:00 considering no other band really knew that we are playing at 2:00 and all their flyers say "show starts at three." I think even in the Go section it said that. Bummer, but at least all my friends will be there at 2:00.
I've only got a few shirts left. I think a medium, large, and extra large. You'll have to see me Saturday if you want to wear one. They look kinda cool.
Working full time sucks.
At least I am off on Saturday. We're gonna tear that place down.
JOe
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Hey I just wanted to say some things.
Heidi, I understand how it is to be on drugs in public. I was that night too. But I think doing "All Along the Watchtower" by Jimi while stoned freaked everyone else out more than it freaked me out. I'm glad you'll be making a shirt, but you can wear one we are making if you want.
Which reminds me, the 17th show is still a go. 2:00. Make it if you can. We are going to make some shirts to wear and give away as promos. I'll try to make enough for everyone. But as it goes right now we are only going to make about 20. If i run out of my share, you'll have to get one from another member of the band.
Why don't I like Bush? I don't know.
" THere is no escape. Man can lift Man up, or Man can drag Man down."
- Booker T. Washington
Why do I like a select few drugs like mushrooms and ganja? I don't know.
"Hard work good, hard work fine, but first take care of head."
-Bob Marley
Why am I happy with not knowing anything? I don't know.
"No man is happy without a delusion of some kind. Delusions are as necessary to our happiness as realities."
-Christian Nestell Bovee
How many licks does it take to get to the center? Figure it out yourself.
JOe
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